A big step, today,
Lying in the sunshine
I forgave myself
For being who I am
And this is how it comes upon me, this convers(at)ion.
And the angel, seeing our mass shock at the horrors we allow and from which we suffer in every way, said to all of us, “I will not leave you. I will not turn my back on you, leaving you to think that you have offended me. You can never offend Angel.
“I will not leave you. I do not and will not see the ugliness you see when you regard yourself by the standards touted as possible, all of them, all at once. I do not think you foolish for believing that anyone can meet all those standards, all of them, all at once.
“Remember, I see who you are as you created yourself to be in Sacred Mind, your true mind.
“If you regard yourself with kindness, you see a thwarted bloom. I see the whole garden with generations of your seeds of hope already grown, blossomed, and fruited, generously sweetening and feeding the cosmos.
“You see a wasteland when you look through barely parted fingers cross your eyes, shamed by the heartless bastards who think they win when you doubt yourself and who puff up as Croesius at your shrinking, self-debasing willingness to believe they are right. I see the innocence of your readiness to accept blame for what was never your sin.
“And even when I see the degradation you air in public – the contorted posing and jabbing and pointing of fingers, the ripping off of civility, the exposure of heinous desires and more heinous acts – I do not turn away. I bend my knees to rock back on my heels and hold out my arms to you.
“Remember, I see everything all at once. I see what makes you the way you are after you burst forth in your brilliance and someone’s fierce eye sears your sense of who you are. I see how you are made to stand by stiffly as if others’ pain is not your business. I see the way you copy – such a good job! – what your teachers teach you right down to what they don’t know they teach and you don’t know you learn.
“Do whatever it is you need to do to breathe. I am leaning close to you, blowing gently across your nostrils so that you can know the world you live in as offering you breadth. Keep waking up. You cannot fail.”