Bridging Pets’ Death and Dying

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“Just being with her helps me. I feel the love flowing from her and I feel her desire to succor me. It is very much appreciated.

“I am content. I feel the flow of all life as breath through all the cells of my body. I listen with my individual hairs, my nose, my ears, my tongue. I look at the grass and I can see its structure and feel its evolution, I can smell its timeline. There is nothing that I need that I do not already have.

“I can feel Maya often. She lives in my heart and she guides me as I move from here to there. It’s almost as if I can feel her heartbeat as a way of ascertaining her nearness to me. I will be here as long as I can for the people. I know they say they don’t need me to, but I can smell the sourness of their fear and their sadness when it seems to them that I am in trouble. Please tell them not to mourn for me while I am still alive. It is not pleasant and it makes it harder to be in their presence.

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“Maree wants to know if she can feel eternity through me. Yes, she can, if she places her hand on me and closes her eyes. She could imagine that the body her hand rests upon is not my body, is not even a dog body, but is the universal heart. Let her ride me in that way as a shaman journeys through the other worlds with her power animal. Let her use the touch of my being as an anchor to this world and a vehicle for transcending it. Tell her to allow her imagination to be stronger than her emotional attachment.”

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“What about your body, Nakai? The comfort of your body?”

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“I would like more cool water.” I have the sense that this would be not only water to drink but also in which he could immerse. Otherwise, I feel that he isn’t particularly hungry and there are no foods that he is interested in. He seems tired now, so I am stopping.

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When Nakai died four months later, Maree wrote asking if I might facilitate communication between them. She wanted to know how his soul was faring. The flow of wisdom in the conversation that ensued articulated a course in soul dynamics that continues to enrich my understanding of who we are as mirrors of Source.

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I see Nakai lying peacefully on top of a green hill in Springtime. He is alert and watching the scene below. His hair, luxurious and shiny, is rippling in the breeze. He is at complete peace and is keenly aware of the nuances of all of the life around him in this non-physical realm.

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He can see you in your life as if you are in a bubble. He can smell a slightly sour smell around you, the smell of grief and staleness. I ask him if he can do anything to help you so that your life might become sweet and happy. He says “No, I cannot do anything for her beyond love her, as I have never stopped doing. Her wanting to do whatever I needed was a great gift to me, but the laws of nature and existence are that I cannot affect her life unless she takes my love and uses it as a tool to change her own life.”

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As he talks about this, I see that he pours his love into you through the bubble, and you need to gather his love and make it a magic wand that you would then wave over your life. “Attachment is one of the greatest tragedies of human love,” he says. “It is non-essential and creates a dynamic drag on the flow of universal intent and masks, hides, the availability of universal, unconditional love that is the nature of the universe. That universal, unconditional love is the true, authentic birthright of every created being. Animals partake of it as easily and naturally as breathing, not being aware of this gift any differently than we are of the gift of air or water, and they partake of it whether they want to or not, just as when you breathe, you breathe everything that’s in the air. But humans separate themselves from this abundance and they make themselves work for rewards. So when there is pain, like what Maree Cree feels because of my death and Maya’s death, that pain exists for her in a separate place from the love that she feels for us, and therefore the love can’t assuage the pain.”

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He smiles at this next thought. “If Maree were training a new puppy, she wouldn’t stop loving the new puppy because she was annoyed that the puppy made a mess. Her love for the puppy and the years of enjoyment that she knew would follow if she did the right thing for the puppy would motivate her to teach the puppy how not to mess. Well, she needs to train herself the same way. She needs to apply her love to the emotional mess she has made all over the floor of her life.” He laughs at this and rolls around on the grass. It’s so funny to him and he is delighted with this very good advice he has just given you.

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I realize as I reread your note to me that you say you’re still feeling his pain. But he’s not in pain any more. The pain you are feeling, that you have not allowed yourself to release, is your own pain, and it is of your own making. When we hang onto the pain that is the most noticeable aspect of our attachment to an animal who was in pain before he died, we aren’t honoring the love of that animal for us. Think of Nakai on that green, breezy hilltop and put yourself there, next to him. Let that be your monument to him … the ease and majesty of his being in perfect rest, and you will be, too.

Maree missed Nakai terribly, and two weeks later asked me to contact his spirit again. 

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“Tell her the great truth. That she is never alone and that whatever she may hear from me she can hear from the divine in whatever form she chooses to seek us. When we, all created beings, all matter infused with the spark and total inheritance of the full amount of divine being, journey from matter into spirit, our perspective changes from the ego-laden to the etheric. What we experienced as emotions bound in cords and ribbons as beings in bodies that you would call ‘alive’ evaporate in spirit. When people say ‘I miss him’ what they are saying is that they miss the love that flowed out of our concrete forms. It is sometimes no consolation to be told when feeling that aching emptiness that the beloved is still with us.

“The form is not to be discounted in the equation of how, whom, what and why humans and other animals love. We come into form in order to complete the soul’s mission, learning how to give and receive purer and purer forms of love.

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“All created beings long for and are moved to find their own kind. When we are ‘alive’ – that is, in form – we are tropic in that way, ever turning toward the strongest broadcast of our mirror. The heart longs for love and this love is not limited by special considerations, just the opposite: because of humans’ complicated cognitive dynamics, it is often easier to share love with members of another species. A woman may love her husband, but may find it easier to show love to and receive it from the furry body of a dog or cat, or leaning against the warm expanse of a horse, for non-human animals are not challenged by that extraordinary construction, the human mind.

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“If a human is trapped in grief, then there is probably a lesson that still needs to be learned, or other unfinished business within his or her own perception of self. Was there a promise made that became enmeshed in the person’s idea of the beloved departed?

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“Ask yourself, what exactly do I not have now that I had, or felt that I had, when Nakai was alive? What, if anything, did I tell myself or believe was true when Nakai was alive because he was alive?

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“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about if an animal is what you need in order to feel whole, or received. When you are hungry, do you long for the meal you had two days ago without seeking other satisfying food? Of course not. Loving one now does not insult or demean the precious treasure that another’s being was to us.

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“We can mourn, miss, and wish for what was to be, but we cannot stop the flow of life.  Do remember that the embodiment of compassion, the Buddha, left us, if the record is true, with these words:  ‘Now, monks, I declare to you: all conditional things are of a nature to decay - strive on untiringly. Everything changes.  Do your best.’”

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Three months later, Maree asked for more information from her remarkably wise canine teacher. She wrote, “Can you ask him what insight he has thru these fast changing times. Along with the concern about surgery.” I had no idea what surgery she referred to, but I didn’t need to. Nakai was again gently and eloquently forthcoming.

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“Dearest Maree love, the worry you have in general is not equal to the greatness of the soul that inhabits you. You need not seek meaning in the events reported in the newspapers, but rather ask yourself, ‘Where is the meaning in my being? Where does joy sit? Where does resolution flow?’

“Tap the quiet within you and you will find the opening to the pathway that leads to inner peace. Even the smallest hint of quiet, the tiniest seed of promise in any way that feels good to you, is the door. You can open the door at any time that you find yourself in the presence of such a moment. You will find larger and larger spaces within you the more you take small journeys inside your own knowing, small and uncertain as they may at first seem. Like the greatest teachers, you have an ocean of knowing within. When others comment with mounting excitement about events in the world, say to yourself, ‘That’s one way to look at it. What is true for me?’

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“It’s not the events themselves that are worth your attention, but your own, authentic response to them. If your response is fearful, ask yourself what you are afraid of, and after each response you find coming up, ask yourself, ‘Really? Is that really what I am afraid of?’ And keep at it until you have the final answer. Then ask yourself, ‘What can I do to change that possibility?’

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“As a dog, I needed to change my response to every situation so that I could fulfill my promise to be your best helper. I could do nothing to change your being, but could change the angles from which I gazed at you, or the position of my body in relationship to you, and that gave me joy. My dear one, you need do no more. Change the angles at which you interact with self and the world, and change the physical aspects of your being as you can to relate to yourself and others in ways that you find satisfying, and you will find that you are finding peace.

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“As to your surgery: if doctors you trust have advised that the hysterectomy is necessary, and you know of no other treatment that you believe will be effective in balancing your health more to your advantage, then accept that this treatment is the best for you and welcome it. Welcoming a treatment is done thus: think about the procedure in a positive way. Acknowledge the grief, sadness and anger that you may have when you think of the loss, and name everything that comes up in your body and mind as you think about it. When you have named all the ways and reasons for grief and anger and sadness, ask yourself if there is an alternative that would better allow you to live in good health. If there is one, pursue it. If not, then speak to your body with all the love in your heart as you would speak to a child, with love, patience, and understanding. Let yourself see pictures of yourself in glowing health after your successful surgery. Tell your cells that it is in your best interest for them to welcome the surgeon’s tools and his (or her) expert skills. Ask for your cells’ cooperation.

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“Above all, my dearest, do not let fear overtake your commitment to live in perfect, glowing health. Know that my love for you lives in your body. Feel the warmth of my being close to you and lean against me for comfort.

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“I send you my love through my adoring eyes and my eternal heart.”